Ala-ala sa tabing Dagat! :D

May mga ala-alang nagbabalik hindi para masaktan ka, kundi para malaman mo, na kahit paano, naging masaya ka at nabuo ang mundo mo dahil dito.

Napakasayang pagmasdan ang pagsikat ng araw lalo na't kasama mo ang taong mahal mo. Yun bang, kahit na alam mong aalis na siya't magkakahiwalay kayo, parang nabibigyan ng pag-asa ang lahat. Pero sa kabila ng lahat, sa pagtitig lang sa mapulang sikat ng araw sa bukang liwayway sa tabing dagat na iyon, parang maayos lang ang lahat, walang problema. Minsan gusto mong tumigil ang oras para lang humaba ang panahon na kayo'y magkasama. Wala ka namang ibang magagawa kundi ang humiling na lang sa langit na sana tumigil ang oras. Gawin ang bawat sandaling isang hindi nakakalimutang ala-ala.

Ito na marahil ang pinaka-BITTER-SWEET na nangyari sa aking buhay. Ang piliting maramdaman ang munting kasiyahan sa kabila ng kalungkutang aking pinagdaraanan. Kitang-kita ko rin naman sa mga mata niya ang kalungkutan at hindi ko alam kung magagalit ako kasi hindi ko alam kung pano siya mapapasaya sa mga sandaling iyon, o nasaaktan ako kasi wala akong magawa kundi manatili na lang sa tabi niya? Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung ano pa ang aking gagawin, sasabihin, at pupuntahan sa mga sandaling iyon. Ang sakit pala. At yung feeling na kahit masakit, naging masaya ako kasi alam ko anjan siya sa tabi ko. Hindi man kami nag-uusap, pero ramdam ko na may sinasabi ang aming mga puso sa kabila ng katahimikan naming dalawa. Magkahawak kamay sa may dalampasigan, naglalakad, nakangiti, isang pagkakataong lagi sa aking isipan. Ilan taon na rin ang nakalipas. 2005, at naalala ko na naman ang mga bagay na ito ngayong September 26, 2011.

Naging kami ni Krizzia, September 27, 2004. First crush, first love, first girlfriend! first kiss? haha. uu nagtatanong ako. tsk. Ako na yata ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo sa mga panahon na yun. Sino ba ang mag-aakalang magiging girlfriend ko ang isang taong pinapangarap ko lang nung una. At sa pagdating ng araw, magkakatotoo pala ang mga pangarap na yun. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP. Ang hirap pala nun? pero hindi ko naman masyadong naramdaman kasi nga, mahal ko yung tao. Walang paghihirap kung may pagmamahal, kung meron man, ito'y minamahal. Yan lagi ang sinasabi ko sa sarili.

Siyempre nasa Seminario ako nun, hindi ko naman talaga maibibigay ang lahat ng oras at panahon sa kanya, kasi may mga bawal dun, wala akong magagawa kung go with the flow na lang sa mga panahong iyon. Alam mo yung feeling na gusto mo siyang makita pero wala kang magawa? Walang ibang magawa kundi tumitig sa picture niyang bigay sa'kin. Nakasuot siya ng pulang t-shirt at jeans. May bracelet na brown made of cut small cylindrical wood na nakalagay sa kanang kamay niya. Backgroung nito ay ang bahay pamahalaaan ng Dolres E. Samar. Kinuha nag larawan na 'yun sa tingin ko nung press-conference dun. Hanggang sa naghiwalay kami nung June 21, 2005, ang picture na ito ay nasa akin hanggang sa ako ay nagtapos ng high school. Hindi binitawan ang mga ala-ala makalipas man ang ilang taon. Pero sa Kabila ng lahat, i let go. uu, as in wala ma. weh? haha.

Sa lahat ng mga nangyari sa buhay ko, ang pagkakataong iyon ang hindi ko makalimutan. Uu, marami talagang nangyari sa'min. Kagaya nung nasa pantalan kami nanood ng Full Moon. As in ang ganda. Second full moon of the month. Alam mo yun? Pero yun nga, dun lang tayo sa tabing dagat. hehe. Yung mga panahon na nasa tabing dagat kami, ramdam ko kung ano ang feeling ng mawawala ang isang taong mahal mo at wala kang magawa kasi alam mo kailangan. Sa totoo lang, nung una nasaaktan ako nung naaalala ko ang mga sandali na yun. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero sa paglipas ng mga araw, unti-unti ko ring naintindiihan ang lahat ng mga bagay. Dapat pala akong maging masaya. At masaya naman ako ngayon. :D kasi nga, "may mga ala-alang nagbabalik hindi para masaktan ka, kundi para malaman mo na kahit paano, naging masaya ka at nabuo ang mundo mo dahil dito."

Bleach Wallpapers: Ichigo and Rukia..Is it True Love??

Bleach Wallpapers: Ichigo and Rukia..Is it True Love??

Journey of Love.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.



Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.



Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."



Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"

"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.



Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."

"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"



Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.



Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder.



Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.



"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"



Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Toilet Humor

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from

the other stall saying:

"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the rest room;

but I don't know what got into me, and I answered,

somewhat embarrassed:

"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:

"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that?

At that point, I'm thinking

this is too bizarre so I say:

"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out

as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over?"

O.K., this question is just too weird for me;

but I figured I could just be polite and end

the conversation. I tell them:

"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously.....

"Listen, I'll have to call you back.

There's an idiot in the other stall

who keeps answering all my questions."

Started with a Kiss

One Saturday night together with my team mates, we went for a drink at my place. It was like a year from the last time we had our bonding outside the gym. That night makes me feel a lot different. And of course, who wouldn’t feel crazy spending a night with his crush? Together with some team mate though. Tsk.

What can say about a girl I love that I met three years ago, that I love the way she laughs over silly things? That I love the way she cries whenever she gets hurt. That I love the way she carry things in her own simple way? It is so easy to think but so hard to do. Most especially, things around us turned out to be more complicated.

She joined the team through another team mate. She attended every afternoon training. Days and months passed by, she was always there, near yet so far. I can not get near her to introduced myself. It was like she was guarded by my team mate, the one who asked her to join the team. I can not do anything. I was there, always being there for her, watching her, admiring her in a distance, secretly.

From the first time that I put my eyes on her, every thing changed. I became interested attending every day training and even skip classes just to be with her, to see her. So crazy but it’s true, I did it. Still, I can not do anything abut how I feel but keep it myself. I tried to be happy just for her. Do things just to catch her attention. I didn’t know what to do.

One day, my heart broke into pieces knowing she was with another guy. It made me feel sick. I do not know how I feel. Anger? Hatred? Revenge? Especially the guy was my team mate. But for what purpose? I didn’t know. Am I jealous? But why? I could never be jealous. I am not jealous. And I never have been jealous. Just that time. This was the first time I got hurt for doing nothing. And the time I realize that things could have been more easier if I just did something. From that time on, to cover up the pain, I started to ignore her. Whenever she came through the corridor, I took the other way just not to met her. I was late during training and early in leaving. I did every thing to get her out of my mind.

After a year, every thing changed. She was there alone. I thought of doing something. I was in a relationship that time so I couldn’t. I tried to hide things and pretended that things will always work well and turn out right no matter what I do. Ignoring what I have, where I am, I started making friends with her. Eventually we became good friends. We were always there for each other. Things were easy because we have something in common. And some things were better of discussed because we have a lot of differences. Things turned out quite well between us. All I know was that I am happy. I didn’t mind other things. The thing was, I have her, as friend.

There came a time that my girlfriend was jealous of her. It was my fault I know. She saw some of our pictures together. But it was a team picture. It’s just that I stand next to her and she was hugging me. I explained every thing to her. Well, to make the story short about my girlfriend and I, we broke up for a different reason. I quit class, and stop school.

A new school year came. I enrolled in the same school. I was happy to be back on track. I was happy to be home again. Phoenix, my family, my home.

That time on, I was looking for her and expecting to see her again. And there she was! I miss her. I miss her like the sun misses the flower in the depth of winter. It was like I am in a desert and only the sight of her could quench my thirst.

There was a song that always crosses my mind. This happen when we were at nationals last month, the time we went to showtime, last song syndrome I guess, the song was, “every time I see you my life turns upside down.” Hehe. So cute! J almost all the shots on my digi cam was her. Our trainor even asked me, “why it’s all her?” I just smile and say nothing.

After inter campus, the team decided to celebrate at Mags. The time that we were all drunk, we had an open forum. It was like saying what we feel to our team mate. It was a good thing of course but for me, it hurts me knowing she was set up by my team mate with another guy. Of course, they do not know how I feel about her. And I can not do anything with that now. The thing that fuels me was when she said that she do not like the guy. It lessened the pain I feel inside. After sometime, I got near her. She asked me, “Why do you hug me whenever we see each other? People may misunderstand things. What does it mean hugging me?” I was shocked and can not say a word. I was groping for words then when I finally say something, ”Ask me again tomorrow when we are no longer drunk for me to speak clearly and for you to understand things well.” She just smile and didn’t say a word. I wonder what it was. The next day, I posted in my facebook wall:

LATE ANSWER: I am happy, I like you, and with you, I am me, and I feel free. And and hugging you makes me feel safe.

I didn’t know if she read my post. It will be a long time that we will not be seeing each other again. But I hope that she will find time to read it. Or I guess, have read it already. And for me, to say it personally to her.

During that mid-time of the past three years (almost two years ago) from the time I met her, where my team mate had a drinking session at my place, it was the time that my feelings for her had grown. It was the time where I had known her better. Who wouldn’t feel crazy spending a night with your crush? With some team mate though. And what can I say about a girl I love whom I met three years ago, that I love the way she laughs over silly things? That I love the way she cries whenever she gets hurt. That I love the way she carry things in her own simple way? It is so easy to think but so hard to do. Most especially, things around us turned out to be more complicated. All these crazy things that had happened to me, it was all because of this one Saturday night with my team mates, with her, at my place, where all started with that play full kiss.

To Love Once Again

To love is to try. 

Try even if you don’t know anything about the rules of love,

try to learn from the heart and you’ll know everything.

To love is to be happy.

Happiness that can’t be measured.

It can only be felt by the heart.

It can only be felt by the one who loves truly and unconditionally.

To love is to cherish.

Cherish the moments. . . 

moments that will always be in our minds

moments that will always be in our hearts. 

To love is to sacrifice. Sacrifice means self-giving. 

Willing to do anything willing to give everything. 

To love is to feel pain. Pain that can’t be cured by medicine.

It can only be cured by time it can only be cured by forgiving. 

To love is to forgive.

Forgive the person who hurt you so badly. 

Forgive all the things they had done 

Forgive with all your heart 

And you’ll find true happiness. 

But love, all this. . . to love once again is the greatest. 

Because you’re willing to try, to be happy, to cherish, 

to sacrifice, to fell pain, and to forgive once again.

Somewhere Down the Road

I can’t really never forget 

the first time and the day we met 

in a pleasant heavenly place 

where there’s a beauty in her face. 

There I saw her beautiful smile

like angel in a distant mile

there I heard her angelic voice

that tuned my heart in great rejoice. 

I’ve felt different from before

I seemed to love her more and more 

 thinking her every day and night 

while the sun and the stars shine bright.

Now, all I have is her memory 

 her beauty that’s for eternity 

like a very beautiful art 

 that deeply remains in my heart. 

I hope our road will cross again

at the right place and time there in

that only way that was so rude 

and it was SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD.